Sunday, December 21, 2008

What’s Your Deep Gladness AKA Calling?

During this time of upheaval I have had a lot of folks speaking to me about what else they might do for a living. Seems like there are a lot of people that have been doing what they do sort of by default – either the money or the opportunity presented itself and they just ran with it. Not that there is anything wrong with that but at some point there are those who feel a stirring in their soul for something more.

Of course there are a few folks who found what they were born to do early on – for others, including me, this wasn’t the case. I got my hit almost two years ago and I can tell you before that it was annoying knowing there were folks out living their “Bliss” and yet I couldn’t figure out mine. My friend Frances used to say to me exasperatedly, “You shouldn’t be working for a CEO you should be a CEO.” I would think, “Okay, but CEO of what?!”

Now I can’t quite explain exactly how I did stumble into my calling although I do see some of the stepping stones that brought me to it. I certainly was constantly seeking it and I believe that the searching ultimately called it forth. Certainly living in the question moves it along.

One book with an interesting take is James Hillman’s The Soul’s Code In Search of Character and Calling he speaks about our “daimon” or “genius.” He asserts that character is fate and shows how the soul asserts itself sometimes at an early age. He tells us how children when perceived as challenging might be actually just unintentionally showing us the early signs of who they will be. He suggests with this new way of looking “then we may see disturbances in them less as developmental problems than as revelatory emblems.” He also talks about us choosing the life we have. Our parents, the monsters or lovers that they are or were, we chose -prior to arriving, so we would step into that which could and would form us. That we knew what was needed to call our destiny forth. One of his reviewers says that “Hillman dares us to believe that we are each meant to be here; that we are needed by the world around us.”

Frederick Buechner says “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet,” Can you step into that even briefly? What if you and your deep gladness is exactly what is needed here? What if the world hungers for you and your gifts?

If you are curious begin with this question:

If you could do anything you wanted, what would it be?

Let your imagination go wild. No limits. Really sit with that and put down what ever comes up for you in a notebook. Write out your answer, no typing. (The act of actually writing has some sort of magic to it that typing doesn’t.) Let this exercise take as long as you need so you can get to the juice. It might take longer than you expect. But it’s a question that is worth seeking the answer to.

Campbell says that we must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. What if the life that is waiting for us is what we truly want?

This is the beginning of course, but any great journey begins with a first step.

The Challenge
As you approach this New Year I challenge you to step into it with a new vision for yourself. The exercise above is a good way to begin to form that vision. It need not be grand, but it must be different. Step out of your comfort zone. Take a course that you know nothing about. Speak up for an issue you believe in. Go somewhere that you never saw yourself visiting. Are you afraid of heights? Go to trapeze school. Do you love opera? Listen only to hard rock for a month with the intent to enjoy it. Do you dislike animals? Volunteer at an animal shelter. Take a course on a religion different than yours. Are you shy? Then wear something shiny and go out on the town in limo and hit all the hot spots with your sunglasses on!

I want you to mix it up! Let me know what shows up for you. And let’s see where it takes you!

May your holidays be filled with innocence, hope and laughter.

Other titles on this topic that I recommend:
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
What Color Is Your Parachute?
How to Find Your Mission In Life both by Richard Bolles
What Would You Do If You Had No Fear by Diane Conway
Pathways To Bliss Joseph Campbell

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Keith Ferrazzi Opens the Eyes of Young MBA's

I was fortunate to hear Keith Ferrazzi speak last week in New York City for American Express MBA new hires. What impressed me the most was his willingness to be vulnerable in his talk. All of us who have read his book Never Eat Alone know he was vulnerable in his book but to be vulnerable in front of a room of one hundred and twenty people – that takes another level of courage. And it was that willingness to be seen fully seen that gave the audience the ability to connect with him and his teachings.

He spoke of taking the time to care about others. And not just those we think will benefit us but seeing people as important regardless of their title and or status. He related to a dinner party where he was next to a Congressman and a very old woman. And his choice to engage with the little old woman brought him an unexpected and much needed life lesson that came to him at just the right time.

He spoke about sharing ourselves. How when we ask others about their passions we will be connected to them and their humanity on a whole new level. And that when we reveal some of our own true self we too will stand out to the person we’ve engaged with.

He spoke about generosity. How there are opportunities around us everyday where we can be generous with our heart and really impact those around us. And how that has unexpected ways of returning back to us.

He spoke about the importance of mentors. How those that we hold as our heroes with reverence and awe are usually happy to lend a hand, an ear or constructive advice. We just must be willing to ask for help.

I think the performance driven culture these folks have just been indoctrinated with for so many years can tempt them to stay in the mindset of “Do, do do!” Keith message was, “Okay I get it folks – you are doers but what if you tempered that energy with some “being-ness? What might you create then?”

Keith’s open heart and vulnerability coupled with his education and experience surely contribute to the reasons that this group was able to open themselves up to even consider this perspective shift in how they might approach their careers. Since he is a trusted peer - his stamp of approval on this unconventional approach allows them to consider, perhaps for the first time, how they can create their own path and become shepherds in their companies instead of sheep. And in light of the current crisis our culture faces how great would it be to have less sheep and more shepherds?

ATTENTION Corporate America: Bring Keith and his message into your board room and break room, and watch your ROI soar!

Wall Street Coaching



Three weeks ago on Tuesday Oct. 7 I opened up a Coaching Stand outside the NYSE on Wall Street. I spoke to folks who were worried about their 401k's, those who had just lost their jobs, those who had lost them weeks earlier and couldn't bear to break the news to their families yet. It was amazing how vulnerable folks were with me. The whole experience went really well and I think folks were really pleased with what they took away from the conversation. My offer was to coach them free either on the spot or over the phone at a later point if they preferred privacy.
I think I will keep going on Tuesday's as long as the weather holds up.
This is my dream bring coaching to the masses. Bringing it to the streets is the quickest way I can think of to bring it to everyone!

Let me know your thoughts and if you have any other ideas about how else I could make coaching accessible to everyone?

If you want to see some of the media's take on the events please view these:
Washington Square News NYU's Student Newspaper:
http://www.nyunews.com/news/city_state/life_coach_counsels_wall_street
Russian Today TV
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LoSn1JmbIk

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Answer

"You are the master of your own fate, the captain of your own soul." ~William Ernest Henley

That opening quote might be hard for you to swallow. I know it was for me the first time I read it and who am I kidding, sometimes it's still hard. I have had this quote by my side for the past two years, ever since I did the Landmark Forum. That is the course that changed my life, empowered me, and the reason I became a coach.

I think the above quote sums up what the Forum is all about. This belief and or paradigm changed everything for me. I didn't realize I was living like a victim but I was. And in spite of this knowledge I sometimes still do.

An example: I recently had a major breakthrough regarding my relationship to money. I learned that I had some powerful beliefs that were impacting me on an unconscious level which in turn impacted the level of abundance I could experience. This breakthrough will now unlock even more abundance in my life. Again I was in my own way and didn't even know it.

How can you get out of your own way? One of the books I'm reading now gives amazing tips on how to do so: The Answer: Grow Any business, Achieve Financial Freedom, and Live an Extraordinary Life by John Assaraf & Murray Smith. It is a book that is right on board with being the master of your own fate. It gives you step by step directions on how you can really step into your power.

John Assaraf was one of the men interviewed in The Secret. He was the guy who realized he was living in the very home he had 5 years earlier put a photograph of up on his vision board, discovering it only after he had moved in.

Some gems directly from the book:


Everything is Energy

Starting with Einstein's breakthrough E=MC2. This simple equation "Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared" is why we now know that everything is energy. A rock, a planet, a glass of water, your hand, everything you can touch , taste, or smell -it's all made of molecules, which are made of atoms, which are made of protons and electrons and neutrons, which are made of nothing but vibrating packets of energy. Knowing this means that there is no distinction then between matter and energy - the boundaries between the physical world and the world of our thoughts start to disappear as well.

Thought Influences Matter

The early pioneers of the quantum world, physicists Niels Bohr and Werner Heisenberg studied the puzzling behavior of tiny subatomic particles and recognized that once you look deep within the heart of atoms, these "indivisible particles" are not at all like the neat little miniature solar systems of billiard balls everyone had expected. They were something like tiny packets of possibility. Their work suggests at the most basic level, physical matter isn't exactly anything yet. At the subatomic scale, according to this new understanding, reality was made not of solid substance but of fields of potentiality - more like a set of possible sketches or ideas of a thing than the thing itself. A particle would take on the specific character of a material "thing" only when it was measured or observed. And that was the really strange thing: the discovery that the act of observation influenced these particles' behavior. They found that if they looked for an electron an electron would appear right where they were expecting it, even more bizarre, it was soon found that the mere intention of measuring particles, even without carrying out the actual act itself, would still affect the particles in question. Suddenly subjectivity - the action of consciousness upon a piece of "matter" -had become an essential component in the very nature of reality.

Thought Creates Everything

So what are we saying here, that everything that is, is made of thought? That thought creates the physical world? Yes, that is exactly what we're saying. In a nutshell:

*Everything in the physical world is made out of atoms.
*Atoms are made out of energy.
*And energy is made out of consciousness.

Your thoughts not only matter, they create matter. Thought is where everything comes from. You've heard the old expression, "I'll believe it when I see it." But that's not really how it is. The truth is more like this: You'll see it when you believe it." In a very real concrete sense, your beliefs don't simply reflect your reality, they create your reality.

Now I get it if you are feeling a little overwhelmed with all this. And that is okay, be gentle with yourself. This may take some time to really land for you. Let this digest, and stay calm as you let it all sink in. Just notice your thoughts. Notice the flavor of them. And start small with the ones like, "Oh that bus will never come!" and try turning it over to "Oh there will be another bus any minute now." Start expecting the things you desire. Start imagining through visualization how it feels to live in the desires of your heart, whatever they may be.

With all the Doom & Gloom that has saturated all of us these last few weeks it is imperative that you shut off the news and stop reading the negativity. Surround yourself with people who are positive and stay away from the Debbie Downers. To quote from another great book, Creating Money by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer, "Even during the worst economic times there are always businesses and people who do quite well. You are the source of your abundance and you can have a wonderful, positive, and abundant life regardless of the economy or other outside conditions."

At the end of The Wizard of Oz, Glinda the Good Witch, tells Dorothy she has always had the power to go back to Kansas. And the Scarecrow asks, "Why didn't you tell her?" Glinda replies, "Because she wouldn't have believed me. She had to learn it for herself."

So you see The Answer isn't out there it's within you. And to be even more precise, it actually is YOU.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

WANTED: World Change Agents & High Achievers

As part of my research for an upcoming talk and book I’m looking for people that ASPIRE to play a life FULL OUT and are serious about change.

PLEASE NOTE THIS IS ONLY for folks who are COMMITTED to achieving their goals.

Do you (or someone you know) qualify?

• Do you know you are the creator of your destiny and feel stuck in someway?
• Do you want to or have you started your dream business and are frustrated by road blocks?
• Do you have a calling and/or mission and yet something is stopping you from manifesting it completely?

If this describes you or someone you know then please RESPOND IMMEDIATELY.
SPACE IS VERY LIMITED!

I am offering a FREE 30 minute Professional Tele-Coaching Session for the first 30 people that contact me.

If you or someone you know qualifies then please email me immediately to receive this one time only FREE tele-coaching session: kim@thecoachshoppe.com

Monday, August 18, 2008

Make Money Being Y-O-U!

This post has moved to my new site at The Coach Shoppe (http://www.thecoachshoppe.com). You can access it here.

Make Money Being Y-O-U!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Monday, July 7, 2008

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Money Money Money 3 Tips on How To Live From Abundance

This post has moved to my new site at The Coach Shoppe (http://www.thecoachshoppe.com). You can access it here.

Money Money Money 3 Tips on How To Live From Abundance

Lessons From a Rich Father

This post has moved to my new site at The Coach Shoppe (http://www.thecoachshoppe.com). You can access it here.

Lessons From a Rich Father