Sunday, January 4, 2009

How Mean to Yourself Are You?

Those who know me know how much Non Violent Communication means to me. I have been saturating myself in Marshall Rosenberg's work for some time now. But tonight I'm struck by the violence in which I use when speaking to myself. You know, "You idiot, how could you leave that glove in the cab!?" "You shouldn't have been talking on the phone and trying to use your cc all at the same time! You deserve losing your favorite glove!" You know THAT kind of self-talk. I realized tonight that I sometimes beat the hell out of myself without a second thought sometime even multiple times a day. And I wonder why some days are harder than others?! It's no wonder. What would it be like for me to have mercy and empathy for myself? What if in response to losing this beautiful dark green suede glove I said to myself, "Wow, you never lose anything! You poor thing - you must be so upset losing that beautiful left handed glove that matched your pocket book just so! But since you are so on top of things this almost never happens to you! In fact you can't even recall the last time you even lost something because you are always so careful!"
Can you imagine if the kind of compassion and empathy a dear friend would give us was what we could give ourselves? How much less wine would we need to drink? How much less cake would we need to eat? How much more love could we show the world if we just showed a little bit more to ourselves?

Friday, January 2, 2009

Revolutionary Road

This is a film that will make you really happy if you know you haven't settled. It will probably upset you if you have.

For those who have chosen to follow their dream, come what may, well you will feel vindicated, in fact. You will feel a sense of relief, a sense of Thank GOD I didn't take that other road.

If you have taken that other road, realize only this, it's not too late. It's never too late. There is always time for you to take the road your soul knows you should. TAKE IT, don't delay. Your life can start right NOW.

The choice is yours. Choose your path, come what may. Follow only this, "Choose the path with a heart."


"The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy." ~Meryl Streep

I went with some new friends to see Slum Dog Millionaire. I love this film. Let me tell you that right from the get-go! And I needed to leave for a good chunk of it. I have had a really hard time, as far back as I can remember, being with violence or cruelty either in movies or books, not to mention in person! Here's why: I'm empathic. What the heck does that mean you ask? Webster's Dictionary says that empathic means "of or showing empathy." For me it means to feel things as though I myself am going through it. In spite of knowing that I'm watching a movie, reading a book, or hearing someone speak about their experience, I experience their pain as if it were my own. Sometimes it's a literal physical experience for me. At times it's so deep and powerful that it can be a little scary.

There is a great quote from the movie Bandit's where two main characters commiserate over how so many things affect them and one says to the other, "I think it's better to feel too much, then to feel too little." I loved hearing that because I have, for most of my life, felt a bit like a freak feeling all these things so strongly. I was fortunate that night at Slum Dog Millionaire, that my new friends were open-minded and accepting of me and what happened. They inquired kindly about it after we met up in the lobby afterward. They didn't make me feel bad - in fact one of them actually said, "You know what? I think that's your superpower."

I agree. It is my superpower AND with all superpowers one needs to learn how to harness and manage them properly. There are some fine tuned directions about how to navigate this gift and not be knocked about by it. The best teacher I've had in this department, not to mention a slew of other departments, is my coach, mentor, friend and "Guru on a mountain-top" Julie Cramer. Julie has been invaluable to me for so many of my healings and breakthroughs. She has been my North Star for much of my journey. She has taught me how to "surf" this gift -among others.

Her skills go beyond teaching. Yes, she instructs on how to handle the unique aspects that the gifts we have require but she also "sees" you in a way you have never been seen before. She is nothing short of miraculous.

I have had the opportunity to experience coaching from some of the best coaches available and what I have experienced with Julie is beyond my ability to adequately express. She is gifted with wisdom and empathy unlike I've ever encountered.

Please join me in welcoming her to her first event in NYC on Saturday, January 17. Julie's talk will begin at 10 AM at the Meta Center, with one-on-one readings following. I invite you to come and learn how to manage your gifts and superpowers. You will be moved and inspired. More details about it below.

Keep in mind that there are many other superpowers. Remember how many Super Heroes there are! Each with his/her own special talent.

If this doesn't sound like yours then allow yourself to sit still and sink into the quiet of your soul. I betcha you'll have it surface if you pose yourself the question.

Let it rise up this New Year. Allow it to surface so it may save you and the rest of us.

Here's to a Divine 09 for us all!