Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Thermostat & The Hole

~This is my first posting as a guest blogger on

A few years back I made a slew of cash in a very short amount of time. I was working at a hedge fund and I received a sign on bonus as well as two more generous ones over the year.

Having grown up with a mom who always struggled with money I remember feeling a little unusual about all the money I was making. Not that I didn’t love every minute of it; because I did. It was remarkable to not have to bring out a calculator every time the urge to purchase something came about. Yet I found it to be somewhat unfamiliar and even at times a little nerve-wracking grappling with the question, “How did this change in circumstances just like that – occur?!”

And I was also aware of my concern that it might all disappear – just like that. Other people who receive a lot of money at once sometimes have an opposite reaction they start to feel as though it will always continue and they will never run out. But I felt more of a kinship with the infamous stories of lottery winners that within a short time ran through their money. Why was that?! I sure as heck didn’t want to be one of them.

Being an affiliate marketer you might be experiencing some of these thoughts yourself. Shocked, excited, and or anxious and nervous that it won’t last so you are spending it like a little kid in a candy shop – scooping up all the candy you can carry home. Who can blame you? It’s new and it feels good to show off in front of your buddy what you have created for yourself. I’m all about celebrating yourself and your wins but as a life coach I’m here to make sure that you also keep earning the money and that you don’t go and blow it all at once on candy that will just get you sick of in a few days or months.

Back to the lottery winners who in a short amount of time go right back to an empty bank account. I now know that the reason this happens is that what is believed in our unconscious is what will determine our circumstance. There is a pre-set thermostat that lives inside all of us which is our self-image. If we want money and abundance to continue in our life – we need to examine the beliefs we have about it being in our life in the first place. We have to take a look at our self and see if we truly feel having it feels like it fits, is familiar and/or is what we have perceive as normal and if it doesn’t; than no matter how much external effort we exert – including will power - will ever be able to keep it from slipping through our hands. Eventually our pre-set thermostat will take us back to what it considers our “setting” unless we re-wire the setting on that thermostat. As a coach this is one of the first things that I ask people to take a look at, what are their limiting beliefs? Having those beliefs brought into the light has a remarkable ability to stop them dead in their tracks.

Additionally what is also interesting is that in spite of the money and any new found bling -we might find that we feel empty inside. You hear about it all the time someone buys a hot new car and has a fab new apartment and yet they still don’t feel good about themselves. So they keep numbing out either with shopping, food, drink, drugs and/or sex. They aren’t even enjoying any of those things –it is just this fruitless attempt to fill what feels like a hole inside. Again this is about our self image. As Maxwell Maltz, MD says, “Self image - it is the common denominator.” In the book, The New Psycho-Cybernetics he discusses that “To really live and find life satisfying you must have an adequate and realistic self-image that you can live with. You must find your self acceptable to you. You must have a wholesome self-esteem; a self that you can trust and believe in; a self that you are not ashamed to be and one that you can feel free to express creatively rather than hide or cover up.”

So if indeed you struggle with feeling inadequate or unacceptable realize you are in the majority. We all struggle against feelings of inadequacy but our peace of mind is closer that we realize. It will take some effort but not nearly as much as one would imagine. There are terrific books available to help you to get clarity; as well as personal development courses and even one on one coaching. All of them will on differently levels make you aware of your limiting beliefs.

If you feel you have identified with some of what this posting is addressing the first thing I want you to do is celebrate yourself and acknowledge how self aware you are and that you are indeed “awake.” It takes courage to admit it to yourself; now you need to take the next step. Whether it is buying a book taking a development course or hiring a coach; the key is to keep going. Don’t stop. You are more than half way there. Winston Churchill said it best; “If you find yourself going through hell, keep going.” It might get hot but you will have your thermostat permanently re-set where you want it for the rest of your life. And that is worth more than any bling I’ve ever seen.

Thanks again to Brandon Hoffman aka Ad Hustler for letting me be a guest blogger on Brandon is the King of Affiliate Marketing - if you want to know more about affiliate marketing check out

No comments: