Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. ~Og Mandino
I read this quote the other day and started it immediately. The friend I was disappointed in, over something small, when they called me I imagined that if they were to be dead by midnight would that small infraction really matter to me? A resounding NO is what came up. And as they spoke my anger melted away.
As I started to treat everyone as though they would be "dead by midnight" more kindess showed up in more places around me.
The "I don't care" cashier at the CVS. "Dead by midnight." Now I'm extending her a smile and even trying to make her laugh. (She does.)
The "wide-open leg sitter" on the subway, a young tough guy. "Dead by midnight." Would you be willing to let me sit there next to you? Not only does he nod but he moves his legs! A miracle.
The "never smiles" bagel clerk. "Dead by midnight." Would you like some coffee or juice too Miss? In two years I've never heard this man speak to anyone! Only takes the money and nods. WTH?
I found this very powerful. Would you be willing to try it for an hour, a day? Tell me what happens for you.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Appearances
These are some of the more profound writings of Rusty Berkus that have served me on this journey so far. I hope they serve you as well.
*Wherever you are in this moment, is exactly where you are supposed to be, no matter how things may seem to appear.
*There is no prescribed Way for everyone. There is just your Way for NOW- until you choose another.
*There is no one to compare yourself to, and no one to compete with. There never was. When the Rose and the Lotus are side by side, is one more beautiful than the other?
*When you awaken to who and what you are, everyone automatically awakens to who and what you are, without a word spoken.
*Did you know that you could experience love, pain, joy, anger, death, and rebirth all at the same time and still be perfectly sane?
*All earthly pain is due to our inability to release what needs to be free.
*If you know you are not your sports car, your grades or your children's grades, your color, your degrees or your spouse's degrees, your age, your titles or your family's titles, your body, your possessions or your parents' possessions- Congratulations. You are Home again.
*The dignity the world awards you is in exact proportion to the dignity you award yourself.
*There is a peaceful place inside that welcomes you. A space so safe, so still, that there is no forward or backward-only the eternal flow of Now. Enter this radiance where the truth of your being resides, and remember who you are.
*Wherever you are in this moment, is exactly where you are supposed to be, no matter how things may seem to appear.
*There is no prescribed Way for everyone. There is just your Way for NOW- until you choose another.
*There is no one to compare yourself to, and no one to compete with. There never was. When the Rose and the Lotus are side by side, is one more beautiful than the other?
*When you awaken to who and what you are, everyone automatically awakens to who and what you are, without a word spoken.
*Did you know that you could experience love, pain, joy, anger, death, and rebirth all at the same time and still be perfectly sane?
*All earthly pain is due to our inability to release what needs to be free.
*If you know you are not your sports car, your grades or your children's grades, your color, your degrees or your spouse's degrees, your age, your titles or your family's titles, your body, your possessions or your parents' possessions- Congratulations. You are Home again.
*The dignity the world awards you is in exact proportion to the dignity you award yourself.
*There is a peaceful place inside that welcomes you. A space so safe, so still, that there is no forward or backward-only the eternal flow of Now. Enter this radiance where the truth of your being resides, and remember who you are.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
On Pain by Kahlil Gibran
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Human Being or Human Doing
I’m struggling with my BEingness. Actually I’ve struggled with my BEingness my whole life. I’m a doer. I’ve been my whole life. It comes to me as natural as breathing. I’ve a lot of interests and I’ve a lot of hunger for information. I am an investigator – a “systems” girl. I’m fascinated by how, us humans tick. And I like to problem solve. If you’re stuck in the middle of four tall brick walls – I’m your gal! I’ll find a way out for you.
All of this I’ve come to realize uses my energy and others. And since I’m the kind of gal who swoops up everyone else’s energy very easily you can imagine at the end of a day how dry the gas tank is. But that usually doesn’t stop me, because I learned how to run on the fumes.
For the past two years I’ve consistently been told by the Universe, through people and whispers to slow down and BE. To breathe, and BE still, BE quiet and wait. And now I think I’ve finally heard it. (Did I mention I don’t know when to say when?)
Wait. REALLY wait? How do I do that? This is one of the most challenging things in the world for me to do. Intentional waiting. And yet that is exactly what the Universe now is pounding over my head. In every direction, and with every guide. The word on the street: WAIT and with it be quiet.
So share with me dear reader your suggestions on how you wait and BE still.
All of this I’ve come to realize uses my energy and others. And since I’m the kind of gal who swoops up everyone else’s energy very easily you can imagine at the end of a day how dry the gas tank is. But that usually doesn’t stop me, because I learned how to run on the fumes.
For the past two years I’ve consistently been told by the Universe, through people and whispers to slow down and BE. To breathe, and BE still, BE quiet and wait. And now I think I’ve finally heard it. (Did I mention I don’t know when to say when?)
Wait. REALLY wait? How do I do that? This is one of the most challenging things in the world for me to do. Intentional waiting. And yet that is exactly what the Universe now is pounding over my head. In every direction, and with every guide. The word on the street: WAIT and with it be quiet.
So share with me dear reader your suggestions on how you wait and BE still.
Monday, March 9, 2009
How’s Your Listening?
In Nonviolent Communication they advocate “Empathic Listening.” What is that? It is a “compassionate connection with what others are presently experiencing. It requires one of the most precious gifts we can give to another and that is our full presence. It is our postponing these: giving advice, reassurance, corrections, explanations, or searching for solutions until the other person confirms that what was communicated has been accurately and compassionately received.”
These examples below are some common responses that PREVENT us from being present and connecting empathically with another:
Advising: “I think you should_____”, “How come you didn’t____?”
One-upping: “That’s nothing; wait until you hear what happened to me.”
Educating: “This could turn into a very positive experience for you if you just ______.”
Consoling: “It wasn’t your fault; you did the best you could.”
Storytelling: “That reminds me of the time______.”
Shutting down: “Cheer up. Don’t feel so bad.”
Sympathizing: “Oh, you poor thing_____.”
Interrogating: “When did this begin”?
Explaining: “I would have called but ______.”
Correcting: “That’s not how it happened.”
All of these responses take us away from being “with” the person in what they are experiencing. Hearing what’s “alive in them.”
If you want to connect to someone after they have expressed something, NVC advises that we ask these questions “Are you feeling _______? Because you are needing _______?”
And this only after the other person has fully expressed themselves and what happened for them. Otherwise they may feel rushed or that we are in a hurry to be free or to fix their problem.
For more on Nonviolent Communication visit these sites:www.cnvc.org
and www.nonviolentcommunication.com
These examples below are some common responses that PREVENT us from being present and connecting empathically with another:
Advising: “I think you should_____”, “How come you didn’t____?”
One-upping: “That’s nothing; wait until you hear what happened to me.”
Educating: “This could turn into a very positive experience for you if you just ______.”
Consoling: “It wasn’t your fault; you did the best you could.”
Storytelling: “That reminds me of the time______.”
Shutting down: “Cheer up. Don’t feel so bad.”
Sympathizing: “Oh, you poor thing_____.”
Interrogating: “When did this begin”?
Explaining: “I would have called but ______.”
Correcting: “That’s not how it happened.”
All of these responses take us away from being “with” the person in what they are experiencing. Hearing what’s “alive in them.”
If you want to connect to someone after they have expressed something, NVC advises that we ask these questions “Are you feeling _______? Because you are needing _______?”
And this only after the other person has fully expressed themselves and what happened for them. Otherwise they may feel rushed or that we are in a hurry to be free or to fix their problem.
For more on Nonviolent Communication visit these sites:www.cnvc.org
and www.nonviolentcommunication.com
Sunday, March 8, 2009
It’s a Wonderful Life
I was reminded today of this movie and its important message that our life, in spite of how insignificant it may feel at times, touches countless people in ways we can’t even imagine.
In this film, the main character is about to kill himself thinking that his family and his company would be better off if he were dead. He gets an amazing opportunity to see how things would have been had he never been born.
It is a dark vision to behold and it shows us the many seemingly insignificant actions and impact our life has in small and huge ways on the other lives around us. It reminds us that throughout our life our simple “living” and our mere existence has a powerful domino effect upon all of those around us. Even those who are only casually in our world or in it only briefly.
During this rainstorm of scarcity energy that is in the air right now – I invite you to lean into the abundance you have experienced. First see if you can find one person from your day today or this week that did even a minor gesture but it had a positive impact on you. Then I will ask you to consider something you did today or this week that may have been minor like giving up your seat to someone on the bus and imagine how even that small gesture may have positively impacted them. Second, reach back to your childhood and see if you remember a positive action of another’s that had an impact on you that you still remember with a smile and the something that you did way back when that you can see now probably did have a positive impact on another.
I believe that we are all connected and I believe that what we do to one, we do to all -including ourselves. You are here for a reason. Believe that. Your life, no matter what you may think of it, is making a difference on every life it encounters. What is possible for you if you truly stepped into this belief? What would change? What might you take on in your life with this belief? You see, you really have had a wonderful life, do take some time to be with that truth.
In this film, the main character is about to kill himself thinking that his family and his company would be better off if he were dead. He gets an amazing opportunity to see how things would have been had he never been born.
It is a dark vision to behold and it shows us the many seemingly insignificant actions and impact our life has in small and huge ways on the other lives around us. It reminds us that throughout our life our simple “living” and our mere existence has a powerful domino effect upon all of those around us. Even those who are only casually in our world or in it only briefly.
During this rainstorm of scarcity energy that is in the air right now – I invite you to lean into the abundance you have experienced. First see if you can find one person from your day today or this week that did even a minor gesture but it had a positive impact on you. Then I will ask you to consider something you did today or this week that may have been minor like giving up your seat to someone on the bus and imagine how even that small gesture may have positively impacted them. Second, reach back to your childhood and see if you remember a positive action of another’s that had an impact on you that you still remember with a smile and the something that you did way back when that you can see now probably did have a positive impact on another.
I believe that we are all connected and I believe that what we do to one, we do to all -including ourselves. You are here for a reason. Believe that. Your life, no matter what you may think of it, is making a difference on every life it encounters. What is possible for you if you truly stepped into this belief? What would change? What might you take on in your life with this belief? You see, you really have had a wonderful life, do take some time to be with that truth.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
